Cookies+Elmo+Target=Best Top Chef Episode Ever

Before I begin, I want to list my top three pet peeves about "Top Chef":

Trash talking offender numero uno: Mike Isabella.

3. Trash talking: Producers probably love it because it generates definitive characters for viewers to root for or against. But nothing enrages me more than contestants on "Top Chef" - trained, professional masters of the kitchen - berating each other. If you, like me, love food, you're watching for the chefs' technique and what time allows them to come up with. Mocking Blais and his penchant for liquid nitrogen or cursing a blue streak about what havoc (you let) Angelo wreak on your dish is completely uncalled for. And instead of generating dimension, this most irritating of habits makes everyone seem even more shallow, despite their evident talent.

2. "This next shot is a close-up of Padma's jewelry line. Wait, what? The guys are chopping like fiends? ...Nah, who wants to watch that?": The show is called "Top Chef." And as such, I'd like to think the chefs' mastery of their art should be on display, not Tom Colicchio's great, big head nodding or Padma's scar. I understand why they do this, of course - shots of the contestants running back and forth and yelling creates energy and speed, which helps the show pulsate (read: ratings). But the only episode where I can remember the cameras really focusing on everyone's, say, knife skills, was when David Chang came by for the quickfire (above left). He approved or denied each team's submission of minced garlic, butchered lamb ribs and cleaned artichokes. The result of that very challenge illustrated an interesting lesson about cooking: the teams which finished technique last did not have dishes that placed in the top. Cutforth & Co., more challenges like this, please!

1. Surely Eric Ripert and David Chang are busy: While Le Bernardin is a fine restaurant and I love Momofuku et al, I'm tired of the stilted guest judges' rotation on 'Top Chef.' Where are the Stulmans and Applemans, the Canoras and Takayamas? If there's a gastropub challenge I'd love to hear April Bloomfield's take on things. And what is the delay in getting Christina Tosi, recent James Beard Award semifinalist, on a pastry quickfire?

So, last week's episode. "Lock Down" began with the same filler of who-got-eliminated-and-how-that-made-me-feel chit-chat. And while it was sad to see a replay of Jimmy Fallon's indictment of Fabio's "meatball burger," things got off to a running start with a visit by Elmo, Cookie Monster and Telly for the quickfire. It was such a relief to see the war-weary chefs smiling and laughing at the Sesame Street residents' antics. And of course, a visit by The Big C and his crew mandates a cookie challenge. The stakes are high - not only is the reward $5,000, but it turns out a few of the chefs have never made a cookie from scratch. Plus, Blais decides to aim high and meet Elmo's challenge of a zucchini cookie. This oughta be good.

I don't think Top Chef has ever managed to be so enjoyable. This season's restaurant wars went down well, but when Elmo heckles Mike Isabella for dropping an orange, or Dale pours ruffled potato chips into a food processor and gets an earful from Telly - oh man, nothing could make me happier. Except something did. And that was Cookie Monster chomping down the tablecloth because "Me no can take it!" (Plus, Elmo gave a loving shout-out to Blais' daughter Riley. Aw!)

Unfortunatey, with such gourmands at hand, a few people "needed help," especially Blais' ice cream hockey pucks and Angelo's dry whatevers with rose petal sugar. But Dale, having taken a page out of the Christina Tosi handbook, wins with his salty-sweet concoction: pretzel and potato chip shortbread cookie with salted caramel chocolate ganache. I've long believed Dale is one of the most talented chefs on the show - as chef de cuisine at Buddakan NYC, he has an excellent handle on food trends and proves his chops consistently. I look forward to seeing him in the finals.

This week's elimination challenge hits the bull's-eye, literally: the chefs have to construct their own kitchens and cook for 100 people inside a Super Target. In the middle of the night. No one's at ease - Angelo and Mike even team up. And Tiffany uses - gasp - a prepared spice mix. Due to her late start Carla ends up on the bottom - the flavors of her curried apple soup never developed properly. Angelo was felled by the Achilles' heel of cooking: oversalting.

But it was Tiffany's attempt at nostalgic home-cooked food that interested me the most. She made a jambalaya with chicken, sausage and shrimp that ended up over-seasoned, rubbery and bad all around. But her motivation was a dish by her mother from her childhood, which, you know if you cook at all, can actually be a great goal for a dish. The most beautiful example of this was in 'Ratatouille' - the way Ego's eyes reel in shocked delight, as the titular dish, prepared by Remy the rat, takes him back to a French country cottage, a loving mother and a steaming plate of comfort.

But as Colicchio wisely pointed out, you can grow up with dishes and have an affinity for them, but they may not actually be good. This is probably true for anyone who swore by Shake 'n Bake as a kid. I know the delight of getting smells and tastes of my mother's cooking right, and when I don't, it's a true let-down, because all you're attempting is a recapture of a beloved memory.

So it took me completely by surprise that Tiffany did not go home this week. I'm a fan of hers from last season because she never talks nonsense about anyone, and a sincere chef to boot. But the judges couldn't forgive Angelo's salting error, so Mr. Sosa tearfully packed his knives and headed for home.

Oh, the good news: Antonia's runny egg-crostini-and parm combo looked great and was greeted with gusto by all the judges. Kudos to her for serving up 100 eggs at 3 AM. Blais had a nondescript pork dish that won accolades for flavor (he started cooking first). But it was Dale's trademark of hitting the stoner-food nail on the head that won him $25,000: he made a rib-eye panini, seared by irons, in a spicy tomato soup. Sometimes the simple way is the best way. (Mike ended up in no-man's land for his coconut soup. I pray for the day Padma orders him to leave.)

Final thoughts: The editors cleverly misled us to think it was Tiffany's time to go, so Angelo's departure was surprising, and personally, a relief. As always, the show spent so much time watching everyone run 100-yard sprints and setting up tables that we never got enough of an insight into the cooking process. But this was such a fun episode, with the talented Dale emerging victorious, that I have no real gripes. Additional points for the smooth flow of this episode, and the neat narrative, which allowed for Colicchio, Bourdain and guest judge Ming Tsai (hey, PBS alum makes a move to cable!) to appreciate the difficulty of the challenge.

Next week: the butter, the cream, the horror - Food Network loudmouth Paula Deen is on the show. There's a chance I won't be watching.