Welcome to a new series of posts on this blog, entitled "It's Better Across the Pond," in which I will delineate the many ways I admire/envy/worship/applaud/appreciate/analyze the way they do things in jolly ol' England.
Volume I: In Praise of British Etymology
Mark Twain famously said that England and America are two nations separated by a common language. It couldn't be more true. I grew up in India, which, as you know, is a former British colony, and the English I was accustomed to speaking/writing was vastly different from that used in the U.S. There are little differences - 'u' in 'color' and 'neighborhood' - which just seem nit-picky, but there are more significant differences which are emblematic of British sociopolitical philosophy.
For example, the word 'drunk' isn't used very often in England, nor is 'hammered'; even 'plastered' is somewhat rare. But the words they do use are very onomatopoeic: 'sozzled,' 'pissed,' (which means something very different here), and my favorite, 'happy.' You read that correctly - drunk people are referred to as 'happy.' This is symbolic of how drinking culture is perceived in England: when people get on the bus after a night in the pub (the tube stops operating just after midnight), and sing and shout, people just smile and say they're a little 'extra happy.' The Brits are relaxed about drunken behavior because a) drinking is natural, and frequent; b) the drinking age is 16, so the attractiveness of illegality is not as bright as it is here, and c) it's an activity associated with levity, spending time with mates, ending a long day at work. It's a tradition, everywhere from the High Streets in villages, to the depths of major cities like London and Manchester.
American English slants its words heavily -
e.g., 'aunt' pronounced like 'ant' instead of 'ah-nt' - and it also
moves at a much faster speed. 'Letter' in British English is 'let-turr'
with each syllable pronounced evenly. But in America the t's run over
themselves, and the word sounds like 'letr.' In England, language is more relaxed, and even vulgarity has more breathing room. One of my
favorite British English words of all is 'bugger.' And 'bugger' has many
forms - 'bugger' as a verb, 'buggery' is a sort noun-plus-adjective,
bugger as 'noun.' And it's fantastic because you can replace pretty much
any swear word with it. 'Bloody' works that way too but 'bugger'
is much simpler - 'bloody' has a very distinct image, obviously, and is
acknowledged as a curse word. But 'bugger' isn't like that. And if you
use it you immediately liberate your sentiment from outright vulgarity - at least in America, where the word is rarely used.
('Sod' is like this too - but here it just means the brown stuff your dad
putters about with on weekend mornings.)
American English is so much more brash - 'hell' is a horrible word and if
you're from south of the Mason-Dixon Line people will berate you for
blaspheming god. (They will also do that if you blaspheme god in
general.) Replacement words in American
English are tame, and inelegant, because, I theorize, they were invented
by teenagers and children who wanted to avoid punishment for swearing, e.g., 'dang' for 'damn' and 'heck' for 'hell.'
Simpler examples (first word/phrase is ours, second theirs):
Simpler examples (first word/phrase is ours, second theirs):
Pharmacist = chemist
Ad = advert
Dear Abby = agony aunt
Broad/dame = bint/bird
Secretary of Defense = MOD (Minister of Defense)
Secretary of State = Home Secretary
Government employee = civil servant
Projects = council estates (I love this one - the former automatically denotes a grim, giant, run-down building infested with bugs, drug-dealers - very much 'The Wire' - and the latter sounds so pleasant but is an even greater euphemism.)
I still use
'thrice,' 'moppet,' 'kerfuffle,' and 'nicked' - because they
make sense and are extremely effective. 'Kerfuffle' even looks a
bit like a skirmish - the f's fighting with the short u, and the K
lording over them all. 'Nicked' makes the sound you'd associate with
stealing - something quicksilver, almost unnoticeable. 'Nutter' and
'off-license' and 'NHS' are like that too - they correspond to what they're
describing.
Have some more:
Snob = toff
Slut = slag
Cheap wine = plonk
Ball-point pen = biro
Unsafe city block = fag end (this usage arises from the last bitter shard of a lit cigarette, which is a 'fag end')
Cookies = biscuits (I still say the latter when I'm talking about tea)
Cookies = biscuits (I still say the latter when I'm talking about tea)
'Community': Dean Pelton (Jim Rash) is dealing with a race "kerfuffle" in his school's parking lot. |
Jelly = jam (I still say jam. 'Jelly' is the stuff you slather on during an ultrasound.)
Apartment = flat
Balcony = veranda (the latter is actually an Anglicization of the Hindi word for balcony)
I leave you with a wonderful and lyrical video from the brilliant Stephen Fry - no one writes (or speaks) more beautifully about the joy of words than he: